Focus and Prioritize

As I woke up this morning, I thought of something that would help me get better this coming semester and that is to focus and prioritize things. I think I reached my limit this last semester. I was so drained physically, financially (broke as hell), emotionally and sometimes spiritually. I can't think of someone to blame for this but myself. I took a lot of responsibilities which I thought I could handle and manage at the same time but NOT. HAHA

So, the game plan for this season is to focus and prioritize and have lesser expectations (oh heavens above, please help me with this. Haha) This time I will not get any responsibilities anymore since I still have pending jobs that I have to finish: the BALAY 2013 Graduation Committee being the Secretary General of that organization and the Design Core being the Membership Committee Head. If there will be another project such as The Pirouette Movement, I will just be a responsible member. Ugh, being the Construction Committee Head at the same time is sooo tiring and required so much guts to get through this project. Limiting the responsibilities is good, sometimes at least you get to focus and prioritize things.

To avoid from being emotionally drained, I will raise no expectations to things or people. Well, this is my problem ever since but I know if I learn how to care for those whom I should really care about and if I frequent youth services and strengthen my personal relationship with God, I know I can make it. This could also serve as my remedy for the spiritual sickness I've gone trough this semester. However, I don't know how to give solution to my inability to answer my financial concerns. Maybe He can help me here as well. :)

To sum it up:

1. Eat what you can chew - Get no responsibilities and focus on what I have now. 
2. Raise no expectations.
3. A friend to all is a friend to no one - Have a genuine care for the people who deserve it. 
4. Go to youth services and talk to Him everyday. 
5. Give the love that your parents deserve. 
6. Spend more time with friends and with yourself. 
7. FOCUS AND PRIORITIZE
8. AND SING!!!! 

I know I can do this. Unting tiis na lang. 

Wag pilitin ang ayaw

Wag mong pilitin ang ayaw. May dahilan kung bakit ayaw ng isang tao o ayaw ng mundo ang gusto mo sanang mangyari. Minsan, dahil sa gusto mong masakatuparan ang iyong kagustuhan nakakaistorbo ka pa ng ibang tao oh di naman kaya'y nagagawa mo ang sa tingin mong hindi mo magagawa dati. 

Ang bottomline... Wag pilitin ang ayaw. Wag pagpilitan ang ayaw ng mundo at ng tao at wag ipagpilitan ang sarili sa mga taong hindi naman nakikita ang kahalagahan mo. Ito'y isang katotohanan na nararanasan ng bawat isa kaya huwag mag reak sa mga nakasulat dito. Hindi dahil nasulat ito ay may pinagdadaanan na ako ngayon. Meron man o wala, ito ay hindi mo maiiwasan. Kaya ngiti na lang. Haayaan mo siya/sila at ang mundo. Gawin mo na lang ang sa tingin mo makapagpapasaya sayo! 

At saka, ngumiti ka. Walang mawawala kung susubukan mo. Mas lalo pang lalapit sa iyo ang magandang enerhiya kapag nakangiti ka. :)

Basta, huwag pilitan ang ayaw at ngumiti na lang. :) :) :) 

Occasional conversation

I love it when you get to talk to a friend, changing ideas, perspectives and understanding things in life. Occasional conversation. 

I miss my friends. I miss the people who are close to me and I miss the feeling that you have friends around, ready to back you up. I miss the conversations I had with them even though the greatest contribution I can give or do is to listen. Well, the topics we usually talk about are socially relevant issues that I know they are experts of. I try to add insights but I let them do the talking since they're really good at it and saying what I know could mean the destruction of all. HAHA. These are the types of conversations I'd love to hear and go back to over and over again.

But you know what I like about having occasional conversations? The spontaneity and the feelings expressed  and shared without any or with less boundaries. It doesn't always have to be about social issues. Sometimes, your views in life and your experiences matter the most. Actually, I like that topic more as long as you share it with your 'friends' or with people you're trying to know more of (with a little holding-back since you are just starting to know them). I'm hoping to get a lot of this, especially now when I feel like I am on this (problems, issues) by myself. 

I don't want occasional conversation. I need them.

Perks of being a wallflower

ENYE had a great night as we successfully ended it with a movie. The premiere night was a success and the movie was just... EZRA MILLER!!!! Such a great actor!

While watching the movie I had this feeling that I will tell and open my life to someone I am close with, SOON! I know that it will not be easy but I am just finding the right time. Well, this isn't the first time but the feeling's just overflowing that it needs some sharing. Basta! 

And oh! if ever I'll be reincarnated (if this is actually true) I want to be like Charlie, a wallflower (a total opposite of me). Why? because this is what I deprived myself of : being unnoticed by people, being observant and being quiet. Yes. I would really love to turn my life to this right now. If only I can make this happen overnight, I would be the happiest person on earth. But oh well, hindi naman mangyayari bigla bigla yun. It's a process, a lifetime process. Wala lang, just a thought. This reminds me of a line in the movie:

"You cant choose where you came from, but you can choose where to go from here." - Something like that. 

Something to think about... Now, back to work!

What if?

What if pa delay na lang kaya ako? 

I mean, really... malapit na ako sa punto na sasabihin kong "hindi na ako masaya sa ginagawa ko." Kung marami lang akong pera baka kumaripas na ako papalayo sa kinalalagyan ko at pumunta sa kung saan tahimik, masaya at may FREEDOM!

God, please give me reasons why I should be happy doing all these things. A serious call for help.

Takot akong...

...buksan ang aking mga mata at makita ang akong mesang puno ng ligaya!!! I just cant explain the feeling I have right now. I feel so used.

Long weekend

This isn't the set of holidays that malacanang used to announce. This is because all my professors are fond of cancelling classes. I dont know if this is good or bad thing but I am just savoring the moment. Last night was my choir practice. I went there and left my plate taped on my drafting table unfinished. Thinking that I will just continue it the time I arrive home from shrine. BUT THEN, I was thinking that the classes today will be cancelled. Thanks to the heavens above! My classes, all of them got cancelled. :) Tho I woke up at three, slept again and woke up again at five, persuading myself to finish my plate. Minutes passed by as and received the biggest surprise of the day.

"No classes for ID 126 and 133."

Oh. sweet words that I love to read: NO CLASSES! Anyway, this is just me over reacting on the fact that I am becoming a bummer. Yesterday I didn't have class and today is a fun fun fun Friday. I wasn't able to use my time wisely yesterday (sort of). I just watched a movie and went to my choir practice. Did some of the plate but as I've said left it unfinished. Now... what to do? I just watched Arthur - which is by the way a fun movie to watch amidst the unclear copy of the movie, not really a good idea - and I am now staring at the computer typing this blog saying - I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO NOW!!!

Later today, I'm gonna watch my friend who has a role in a play called Makbet (did i spell it right?) So, I'm kinda excited because of that. The last play I've watched was last December and this would be my first play to watch this year. FUN! I am super excited. So there. I just want to feel stressed right now since I am not that used to doing noting. I just want to feel the stress that is bearable and stress that's good. Not the stress that would make you think to slit your throat and commit suicide. JOKE.:)) Anyway, I hope you are having a blast coz I'm not. as of the moment. :)

Cherios!

On my birthday

This day went well. Wala masyadong bongga pero I would say that I tried my best not to expect from people since we're not really concerned with what's happening with other's lives and besides expecting too much isn't that healthy so why bother! :)

Now that I am 20 years old I somehow expect something from myself. Maraming takot sa atin tumanda. Maybe because we are a step nearer to death (let's face it guys, yan ang isa sa mga dahilan kung bakit takot tayo tumanda besides from wrinkles and aging dilemmas we might face). But for me, I don't know why pero I'm a bit excited to know what life has to offer me this coming decade. I want to be more adventurous and be spontaneous. Yes, I know I am slowly starting to be like this but I think it isn't enough for now. What else? Basta ang bottomline is we should always get better with aging. I still don't know what to expect from the universe but I just hope that every problem that I may face will be resolved with high class-ness. HAHA

I thank all the people who guided me for the years I have shared with them and for the people who greeted me on my special day. I am actually amazed with the fact that people who greeted me are the ones I don't actually expect. They said sweet things about me. This made my day extra special. Yung tipong parang bibingkang may itlog na pula sa ibabaw. Ganon ka special. But there are also people who I guess didn't mind at all pero hindi kasi ganon yung pagkakakilala ko sa kanila. But I also have to thank them kasi they still are my friends. So thank you guys!

To my family and relatives! salamat!
Sa lahat! Maraming salamat! :)

Pictures during my special day.

HBD

Wohoo! February na and I am starting this month with my birthday! So to start this month right i-gregreet ko na ang aking sarili. HAPPY BIRTHDAY WESLEY! :) You are a teen no more! Pero pwede ding 20teen. HAHA


So what now? I dont want to expect anything from today. I just want to go with the flow and let this day surprise me. Actually, I expect this day to be normal like the ordinary days kasi first hindi ko naman nilagay yung birthday ko sa FB so I am not really expecting people to greet me. But if they do - well, i would cry a million tears for that. This is not to test the waters but more of keeping it and sharing this day with people close to me. :) Ang dami kong alam. Kaasar. :))

So, I'm looking forward for a wonderful and blissful day!
Thank You for giving me another year to live, to love and to be happy! :)
Let's go February! :)

Waiting for Feb 04

Today was a good day but I am to make this day even better because on the 4th of February - there will be a second run for the signing of the book of C&D! If your a rusher, silent rusher or loud rusher (if there's such) let's meet at Trinoma on the 4th so that we'll have our books signed by the most awesome DJs in the country - Chico and Delamar!

So ano pang hinihintay mo! Bili na ng libro at makisama sa amin! :)
See you there! I'll post more pictures and a more comprehensive entry regarding this event next time!

For now, I'll enjoy reading their book!

Save a life. Donate blood.

Last 01-20-12 Friday, I had one memorable experience. An activity I never thought I'd able to conquer - donating blood.

There are many reasons why all of us should be involved in this kind of activity. I've researched and found out that donating blood can actually lower your risk of having any cardiovascular related diseases like heart attack and stroke and the risk of having cancer. (Check out sites regarding any studies that will prove this! MERON TALAGA!)Besides this you can also receive some freebies like snacks. Upon researching about donating blood I also found out that it has been a tradition to give 'tokens' to those brave souls who never got afraid of the pipe-like needle that penetrates their skin. It's sort of a must to give snacks after each donation.

Free Gatorade and cinnamon cake to munch on after that needle sucked my blood out of my body system

Another perky-perk - stress ball! I chose red because I was wearing a dark hue of yellow shirt then so I guess they both complement each other.

Hmmm. What else did I learn from this experience? Ah, Did you know that you can only donate blood once every three months because during these three months your body will replenish and regenerate what you have lost during the last donation. After three months you can give again some part of your life to those in need. I found out also that my blood type is AB positive, a very rare one. Those who have this blood type can receive any blood type (? so redundant. LOL) when in need as oppose to blood type O which is considered to be the universal donor.

Pink cards indicate that you are AB positive. Others will have different colors like white for blood type B

My friend who accompanied me to the venue and actually had the chance to save up a life like me! Go Raymond!

Yes, donating blood sounds scary at first but it is not, actually. I thought I would be able to feel the pain as the bag sucks out blood from my body but it didn't. I didn't feel anything at all. In fact I was able to take photos of some of the details of the palma hall, like this:

So, Im counting days right now before the day of saving another's life. Im looking forward for this day to happen. :)

Kamusta ka?

Ok lang naman ako.
Ikaw?
Ok lang din.
....

I dont get it when people answer this question with "ok lang". I just dont want to stop with "ok lang". Pwede naman kasing dagdagan natin ng "...masaya kasi pinansin niya ko kanina at dahil na-ace ko ang exam ko." Anyway, I know this applies to friends who are really friends. As in close CLOSE friends. There's a different story when you still dont fully know the character of the person you are talking with.

Kamusta na ba ako?
UHM... MASAYA na MEDYO (sobrang unti lang naman) malungkot.

Masaya dahil malapit na ang kaarawan ko. It's not the day of my birthday that excites me. It's the days before my big day. I actually appreciate all these small things that come my way. Having lunch with the people I barely know, listening to good music in a jeepney ride to school, making people happy with my corny jokes, hitting the high notes that i thought i would never reach - stuff like that. As days pass by parang I am obliged to do the things I want to do and the things I think I need to do before turning 20.

So where did I get this line of thingking? Well, I got it from my friend's dad. Sabi kasi niya na we should do all the crazy stuff or at least do the unusual things in life before we reach 20. Be adventurous, get drunk (literally and figuratively), be spontaneous, be reckless (to a certain degree), be able to enjoy and explore life and it makes sense to me. 20 is the time when you can no longer find "teen" attached to your age. This is also the transition period to the real and more harsh world we are in. So, in conclusion I want to do the things that would make me happy before turning 20. :)

So why am I sad? I dont really want to dwell about this thing but yeah might as well vent it out here.

....

I am just wondering if design's really meant for me. I like to pursue design but I love to sing and act. I find joy when designing but I easily get down when things are not in may favor. I know, there's no such perfect thing in world. Not every thing will appear they way you wanted it to be but in the state I am right now - I am not finding joy in what I'm doing. Pero hindi pa naman ako nawawalan ng pag-asa. I hope na this is just a phase where designers really get bored with the repetition of work we're doing. Maybe I am just tired and I just need to unwind. I hope. :)

And, Have you ever had a feeling where you pretend to be ok with another person even if its really not? Or just thinking that it's better to not talk to that person so it wont fuel your feelings? Just thinking. :) :P

Anyway, that's merely what I've been doing these past few days.

In life there would always be ups and downs. Tao din ako, nalulungkot. Pero the sense of enjoyment that I am feeling now is making me see the glass half full. Yes, downs will always be there but as I have said I appreciate all the small things so keri na ang mga down moments. This too shall pass!

Cheerios! SMILE!

Page 2 of 366

(The title of this post is actually trending on twitter now. My twitpic account wont allow me to post this picture that is why I am posting it here. #whytwitterwhy)

Don't worry! I don't have any plans to make one post per day. That will be irritating on your part (reading non-sense entries) but I am making one now so better brace yourself. HAHA

Second day of this year was easy though my mum's sick right now. She got it from my papa who got it from the people he works with in their company. I am the only one who's next in line but I won't allow that! About the picture, this just made my day! He makes his way on top of my lap and licking my hand and my face. This is just so sweet, isn't? I immediately called my dad to take pictures of us two even if he's lying in bed resting because he doesn't feel very well. But he's game for it so voila! I just had this picture. After this I went to the salon to have my hair cut and headed my self after to some stores in the mall to window shop. I'm eying for a bag, pair of shoes, watch and good, can be branded, and sturdy umbrella (by that I mean strong - one that can withstand the test of time! LOL). The reason why I'm seeking for one is because I lost mine last month and it is all because of my carelessness. I know, I know. I should be punished because of that. Well, getting through the rain all the heat of the sun are enough to help me decide that I should purchase one. Anyway, this part should be about my hairdo and not my lost umbrella. This just spoils my whole entry (Lahat naman yata. HAHA)

But before I end this entry, can I just say that tomorrow is the first day of classes for this year, 2012. Neither I'm excited nor anxious about it. I just dread the journey that awaits me tomorrow: the lack of jeepneys going to school and the pollution that surrounds the whole stretch of marcos highway. there's one thing that I dread tomorrow: How would I interact with my classmates now that the year has started and I (or maybe all of us) am expecting them to expect something new from me since 2012 is a new year which means it's a one way ticket to change. But, the hell i care. Maybe, I'm the only one thinking that way - them expecting me to change instantly - (I hope I am the only one thinking that way). Besides, Change is a lifetime process. Not a thing that comes instantly. SO ANYWAY, this hullabaloo is nonsense. HAHA But yeah, I'll just wait for tomorrow to arrive and see for myself what will happen.

Anyway, I have to be early tomorrow! Mom's sick and I'll be the one to do the chores before school! Which means i have to sleep early and wake up at 4:30 tomorrow! Time to start the year right by doing my part here in the house!

Bye! Cheerios!
Turning to page 3 of 366.

on 2012

Goodbye 2011, Hello 2012.
I'm just hoping for the best this year.
I'll do the things I love to do.
Time to push it to limit. No holding back.
Gonna be brave this time around.
I will do everything the best that I can be.
Help me do these!

Anyway, I have to do so many things before I leave 2011 behind.
I would still have to re-write my wish list for this year, my third one since 2010.

HAPPY NEW YEAR GUYS!
Challenge accepted, 2012!